Engagement Party /Wedding Advice?

I know the rule is normally not to invite people to the engagement party that you wont want at the wedding. But we are planning a very small budget intimate wedding. So we thought we'd do a big engagement party, So this way everyone gets a chance to celebrate with us.


Will people really be offended if they dont get invited to the wedding?Engagement Party /Wedding Advice?
That is fine.


Or you can do what I did, three weeks ago.





We did a surprise wedding at our engagement party, much cheaper all our family and friends were there, we only told out parents the night before (all the better for them not to interfere)!!





We told our interstate family so they knew to come.





It really was a fantastic night, everyone had fun, good food good drinks, we hired a hall and kept it casual, but I still got the dress etc. Its a sacrifice if you would like bridesmaids hens nights etc, but we are planning a belated one.





So if at your engagement party when people ask if you've set a date, its your opportunity to say well we were thinking if eloping or just having a small immediate family wedding. That way people won't be surprised when they don't get invited to your wedding.





YOu could also ask your parents to mention to other friends and family your plans, so that they know to make sure they come to your engagement party.





Good luck. P.S. I have learnt very quickly do what makes YOU happy, not anyone else, you'll never please everyone and its meant to be special for you.Engagement Party /Wedding Advice?
offended? how about friendship ender. elope and then have a party afterward for all the people you would have invited so they now feel they are at your de facto reception, dont do it the other way around or you will reallllly regret it. people never forget that stuff.
Honey you do what you want to do, its your wedding not theirs. They probably will be offended but that it their bad luck.
No, you still would then have a small engagement party. Its purpose is really pretty much just to introduce both sides of the family, so they meet you two and the wedding party. It's usually quite informal, just snacks, drinks, and time to chat.
I think that'd be fine. Just make sure they all know that the wedding will be small and intimate, but you still want them to have the chance to celebrate with you.
Im a little surprised at some of the answers here. No, if they are not going to be invited to the wedding you should not invite them to the engagement party. I know your intentions are good, but that feels like a slap in the face for those people.


Either have an even lower budget wedding so you can invite everyone, OR be content to ';keep it small and intimate';.


EDIT: Some people who have an intimate destination wedding far away, have a reception when they return. That way, everyone was excluded from the wedding but included in the celebration. I dont think your guests would feel offended with that.
Ignore the previous answer, clearly she has no idea what she's talking about, even with her little ';top contributor'; badge.





Do whatever you want!!
I don't know where you heard that ';rule'; but it's hogwash. There is nothing incorrect about having a large and lavish engagement party. Whether or not your wedding is equally large and lavish irrelavant.





But on the practical side, if you want to get more and better gifts, have a party following, and close enough to, the actual wedding that you can call it some kind of wedding party, whether reception or ball or tea dance or luncheon or dinner dance or BBQ or whatever. The word ';wedding'; brings out generosity in a way that ';engagement'; does not.





There is nothing incorrect about a large and lavish reception (or luau or musicale or clambake or theater party) following a small private wedding. It can be same day, a day or two after, or soon after your honeymoon.





Whoever told you this mythical ';rule'; is an Evil Minion of The Wedding Industry (or perhaps their unknowing dupe).
Well, if it is your friends or your close people that love you then yes they would because they would miss out on one of your speciail days. They would be kind of sad and kind of mad at you. If my friend were to do that then I would be pretty sad. Just think if you were them. How would you feel? Would you be happy? Or would you rather see them get engaged? If you answered the questions that you asked yourself then there is your answer!


EDIT: Ok, if you do not want everybody to come then just invite somepeople in the engagement and lots of people in the wedding. Or if you do not want to invite lots of people to the wedding, then invite lots of people to the engagement and some to the wedding. I'm pretty sure some people will not get offended because whenever my dad and mom have to go to a wedding, they always moan and groan and force themselves to the wedding. Funny huh. O____________O ;P
Truthfully, I do feel it is rude to invite folks to the engagement party and not to the wedding.





A better solution would be to have your small wedding. Go on your honeymoon. After your return, then host a BBQ or informal party in your home for everyone.
Doesn't matter if they're offended, its your wedding.
I think a better alternative would be a reception after the wedding. It ties in more closely with your big day. However if small budget is your goal, a big engagement party or reception is not going to help.


Also, I am planning a destination wedding as well. Many offer live webcasts or webcast viewing after the event. Check into this. It isn't the same as inviting everyone, but it shows you are thinking about them. I personally think it's kind of rude to ask people who aren't really close to you to dish out a bunch of money to travel to your wedding.
I dont think so..
I would check protocol to determine if this is correct.