Engagement blues ! :(? PLease advice?

okay so everyone chewed me out on my last question, I like the wake up comments- thanks


Im feeling like no one has made a big deal about my fiance and I finally getting engaged after 9 yrs -


Im a person that would have made it a point to send a congratulation cards when something exciting and special happends to anyone that I know - We live 6 hours away from all of our family and friends. When our friend finally got pregnant after several years of trying , I sent them a congrats card, when My best friend got engaged I sent her a Congrats cards as well ! I have a feeling Im gonna get chewed out on this question too !Engagement blues ! :(? PLease advice?
You shouldn't expect a congratulatory card simply because you sent a few out to friends. People send these things because they want to, not because they're obligated to. Avoid a guilt trip towards them. If they care enough to send something, great. If not, move on with your life.Engagement blues ! :(? PLease advice?
I only got a couple cards (and flowers from my parents).





After nine years, it's not only true that people already consider you married, but you probably already live like you're married. Maybe part of your ';blues'; comes from the whole engagement thing feeling a little anti-climactic yourself?





Why don't you give yourselves an engagement party or plan a romantic engagement weekend for the two of you? Remind yourselves that even after nine years together being engaged and having a wedding can be special and magical for the two of you.
A lot of people wait till the wedding to do all the ooohing and ahhing... I got very little before the actual wedding... some people even told my mom they were specifically waiting until the wedding. I'm not sure why, because its not hard to send a Congrats card.... but it was the same thing with me...
Not sure what your question is, but I'm guessing you are wondering why no one is making a big deal out of you becoming engaged.


It's simply because you have been together way too long, and it's much too anticlimactic.


You can't expect people to behave the same way you behave - that's just the reality of the world, hun...
After 9 years, it is probably hard for them to imagine how anything is different, you are already an established couple. It probably wont hit them until the actual wedding. Dont worry about it, and just have fun planning!


I didnt get tons of congrats cards, maybe a few from family members.
You know, you can want what you want, but you do need to get over it if you don't get it. If you and your fiance have been together that long, an engagement isn't that big of news to most people (sorry if that hurts your feelings, but people already have categorized you as a permanent couple).





I'm 48 years old and a first time bride. I kind of expected that my close friends and family would make a big deal out of my finally being engaged, but there really hasn't been any fuss at all (my fiance's family fussed and sent cards and had a party, but mine hasn't). I even have one friend who sends cards for almost no reason at all (like if the cat is sick), and even she didn't send any kind of congrats. I don't know why there's been so little fuss. I know they all like my fiance, and that they love me. But, maybe they're past wedding excitement since most of them got married 20 years ago. I haven't taken it as an insult. I just accept that that is how it is. I hope this helps.





Just because they haven't made a big fuss doesn't mean they're not happy for you. For whatever reasons, they're just not expressing it. Enjoy your engagement!
Most people don't send cards nowadays. The only people we get cards from are my parents, my in-laws and my friend's parents (who've known me for a while and who are very old and old-fashioned). I'm sure when you tell people you're engaged, they say ';Oh, how nice, congratulations'; - I don't know what more do you expect.
On a softer side.......


The true art of congratulations has gone by the wayside.


My mother raised me to send out greeting cards whenever someone had a special occasion or to say thank you or even just because.


People truly don't do that any more.. Its not that it is right, its that people lead very busy lives and forget. I am surprised that Hallmark is still in business..


I still send out notes and thank yous even though I have free cards on the Internet. I just like getting snail mail from friends.


I hope that people will remember, it isn't what you give, its what the other person receives.. Please take the time to send out good feelings every now and then - even if its for no reason whatsoever.


This is a perfect example of someone that got her feelings hurt..Why? Because nobody acknowledged her occasion. I can understand. Would you like to have a wedding and no one showed up? This feels the same.
You never give a card with the expectation of getting anything back.





I spend quite a bit of cash in postage and cards to send to my friends all over the world. I do it because I want to, that's my personal choice and I've never expect anyone to give me back anything.





Some people have different upbringings and some others firmly believe that an email, a phonecall, or a heart felt congratulations face to face should be plenty, and it really is.





I still believe in old school hand-written thank you notes, BD cards , etc. but that's just me. I've never expect my friends to reprocicate in kind . They are not obligated to and honestly ,I don't care. I know they are happy for me and I don't need a card to prove it.








Good luck
I didn't get much before the wedding, if someone saw either one of us they would say congratulations, but no one sent us a card.
Well, Congratulations!





PS - Either your friends suck or are just too busy to be that considerate.
i would throw an engagement party
Most people have no clue about etiquette anymore. Have you sent out engagement announcements or save the date cards? If it's a celebration you're looking for that might prompt them into planning one. People just don't take the time to sit down and send cards and write letters anymore. Chalk it up to everyone becoming more detached because of all of the technology.





We got engaged in Nov. 06, then married in May 07, and no one made a big deal about ours either, which was a little strange considering I'm 32 and he's 42 and this is the first marriage for both of us. Try not to put too much thought into it, just concentrate on being happy with your hubby to be and throw yourself into some wedding plans. Don't expect too much of other people because most of them, even your closest friends, are oblivious to the ';little things';.





By the way...Congratulations on your engagement!!! I hope you two will be extremely happy!!!
I am someone like you.. I mail b-day cards, anniversary card, all holiday cards to everyone and most people dont even send me a bday card.. So I have decieded not everyone is like me and I can not expect them to change because that is what i would do.. So I just stopped with all the card sending and saved the money to use on myself or my husband...
I don't know anyone who sends congratulations cards for anything except the wedding itself, or a graduation, or the actual birth of the child.





You're expecting way too much. Have you considered seeking professional help for your selfishness?





Luke 14:1-14 is the parable of the guests.
Just enjoy this time with your fiance - ultimately, that is what it's about... just you and your fiance celebrating your love and commitment. It's not about what anyone else thinks or how they react.





I received one congratulations card when my fiance and I got engaged and the card was from my brother and sister-in-law. On the other end of the spectrum, my future sister-in-law didn't say one word to me after we got engaged (she was mad that I got engaged before her because she's been with her boyfriend longer). My point is that everyone reacts differently and that it really shouldn't matter because it has nothing to do with anyone else. Yes, it would've been nice if a congrats card was sent to you as you have sent them to your friends, but it shouldn't bother you so badly that you haven't received one. You have a marriage to look forward to and you are lucky enough to have found a man that you want to spend the rest of your life with ---- you have already gotten your reward.
I'm sorry what is your question? If I'm understanding this right you are upset because nobody sent you a congratulations car when you FINALLY got engaged? I think you are one of the few that actually takes the time to think about sending congratulatory cards for things. I know I have never sent a card for someone getting pregnant. When I got engaged nobody sent me a card either. I think you are just expecting to much. After 9 years nobody cares anymore. They figure you are nearly married anyway, especially if you live together.





So here just to make you feel better.. CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGMENT!! lol I know i'm a sarcastic ***** but I think it was funny.
LOL...no reason to get chewed out...I sent b-day cards to everyone I knew for years and never got one in return form most of the people...so I stopped! (hint, hint)
What are you blue about? People are busy, girl! I didn't get a single card congratulating me for my engagement.


We had an engagement party to announce it and realized not everyone could come.


Big deal! Just throw yourself an e party, invite your fam and friends and i am sure they will be happy to celebrate with ya! And then you can have the wedding of your dreams?
The difference in these people who don't respond with cards, etc., is that you ENJOY doing this sort of thing, and that is wonderful. Some people are just 'card people'. You enjoy shopping for them, and sending them. Not everybody is like that, so cut them some slack.





It is not an indication of thoughtlessness that others do not, because an engagement is only an agreement, not a marraige. I hope you do not live your life tit-for-tat with your friends, because that is an exhausting way to exist. You need to examine your motives for giving in the first place. A true gift expects no return.





One last thing: Do your friends like this guy? Is their lack of enthusiasm an indication that he's not their pick for you? Your friends will never say it to your face, because they know it will only drive you into his arms and ruin your friendship...but their level of excitement is telling. Be sure they don't see something you are choosing to ignore.
No offense but it's been 9 years. People probably don't even care anymore. It took too long and they consider you married already. Hate to break it to you but you probably won't get many gifts or guests either for the same reason. Maybe if you had gotten engaged 6 years ago people would make a fuss. They think you are crazy for waiting around for him and they think he is crazy for waiting so long.
well congradualtions :)





but, i think the reason people arent throwing you a parade is because you have been together for 9 years...thats really long and by that point the excitment of your relationship has worn off...a longggg time ago. I mean...i think peoples reaction is proably more ';its about time-ish';





but, that doesnt mean you should be sad!! you should be thrilled and happy for yourself! its a life changing thing and im happy for you!
I don't blame you. I don't care if you have been with him 9 years or 90 years, people can send a card for pete's sake. This is an exciting time for you both and now the planning begins. I understand you are feeling a little hurt. Try not to dwell in it though - and... CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!