Need Advice about my relationship,should I marry my fiance or end our engagement??

I'm stuggling on whether or not to marry my fiance or to just end our engagement. Lately I have been unhappy with the fact that he is still friends with his ex girlfriend. He has known her for quite some time. He dated her for 2 yrs and lived with her. He has told me that he speaks to her maybe twice a year, and that he is not willing to end that friendship with her. Keep in mind she is married and when he told her we were engaged she started crying to him over the phone instead of saying congrats. To me that seemed kind of wierd, but my fiance told me she was crying because she lost one of her other guy friends who passed on recently. Anyway, my fiance said to me that our relationship will not work out if I can't accept that he is friends with her. That just made me feel like she must be more important than me if he is willing to lose me for her. I told him that I don't believe in being friends with ex's. I'm totally against bringing old flames into our marriage. He seems to disagree and is not understanding or nuturing me. He just says I'm too snoopy. My fiance and I agree on pretty much everything else except for this subject. I just feel like I can't be happy if he continues to talk to an ex. She may be a friend now, but back then she was more. I guess I feel I will never be the only woman in his life. I could use some advice in helping me make my decision. Thanx for taking the time to read my posting.Need Advice about my relationship,should I marry my fiance or end our engagement??
Marriage is built on trust. If you can't trust him to TALK to her TWICE A YEAR, you don't have even basic trust...why are you so jealous when it is so infrequent...sounds to me like this is your issue more than his....I don't know why he would make this a deal breaker unless he feels you are too controlling and jealous on lots of issues not just this one and this is where he is choosing to make his point.Need Advice about my relationship,should I marry my fiance or end our engagement??
Anything that is bothering you now is only going to become more of an area of conflict after you are married. If this is a serious issue for you you really do need to consider postponing your marriage to this person. On some level you are not comfortable with the idea of marrying him, and you should listen to that instinct unless you are ready to simply accept his relationship with his ex. Clearly he does not intend to change his views. If you are not ready to break off completely you may want to suggest some time apart from each other with the understanding that you may or may not return to your current relationship after that time period.
Hi


If there is any doubt in your mind . . then dont do it - you need to be 100% certain he is right for you before you marry him. If you get married and things go wrong you will kick yourself for being such a fool as to marry someone you clearly do not trust. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings good luck.
You have something to come to terms with. His friendship with her isn't essentially more important than you. BUT letting your ultimatums change his life is more important.





I can be friends with who I want, and my fiancee will not question me. Likewise, she has her friends. We also have our common friends. But lets face it, because I don't like a few of her friends, doesn't mean I would tell her not to see them.





Because he has a past with her, doesn't change the fact that they are now friends. You can't just end other people's friendships.
i wouldn't get married just yet if i were you. i wouldn't end my engagement either.


you and your fiance have got to solve this little problem. apparently, his friendship with this particular ex is very important to him. and apparently too, you feel strongly about wanting to end the friendship between the two of them. i don't see this issue going away, only getting bigger once you get married.


can you not try to trust him and believe that he's found a best friend in his ex. it happens. for other people, though not for you.


if you and he cannot come to an agreement, well, maybe you guys should seriously rethink your engagement.
If this issue is enough to consider ending your engagement over, then you should not be getting married. Trust is the most important aspect of a relationship and you clearly don't trust him.





Yes, as you say ';back then she was more,'; but their relationship ended for a reason and he is with you now. She is his past and you are his future, but only if you can move on and let this small trust issue go.





Good Luck.
it sounds to me like he is really enjoying this... 2 women... what a inconsiderate person he is. that tells you he's too immature for marriage. it seems he cant get past the relationship stage. if he truly loved you he would not do this fully knowing it hurts you. wow, just think...after you get married, what's next... maybe even another woman on the side. i'd tell him you need some time to yourself and have decided you too have different feelings and would like more time away from him so sort things out, then go out with some other guy/friend and he'll feel how it hurts and if he doesn't seem to have a problem with it then you know he's playing you and is deffinitely not ready for a lifetime committment. i'd be miserable if my husband treated me like that... he deffinitely put her before you...naughty...naughty!


good luck...you still have time to enjoy yourself without him so start now.
WOW, My heart goes out to you, I am sorry for what he is putting you thru, and I can't agree more that you don't have an open door relationship with an ex, he needs to relize that you are apart of his life not her, and she moved on and got married so she closed that door and now he needs to the same, he needs to relize that he can't have both, I would talk to him about it and then suggest some professional help, you can get over this but he needs to support you. Good Luck and have a Merry Christmas.

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