Advice for my best friend about engagement?

I have 2 best friends, and the three of us are really close. One of them, we'll call her ';D';, just got engaged on X-mas eve to her boyfriend of 2 years. She is more than happy. The problem is, they have a long distance relationship. He lives in NJ and commutes to work in NY, while she's still finishing up her undergraduate degree in a school in Erie. Tonight, she just broke the news to our mutual best friend, ';J'; and I...that there were big problems arising. D's finance ';M';, decided to break the news to her that he wants to wait to get married in 2010 not 2009. D is worried that her older family won't be there to see her marriage, and M says that if they wait he can get more money for the wedding. She's so upset, but I don't know what to tell her to do! I've offered some things as suggestions, but both D and M are stubborn. Any suggestions for her future maid of honor to tell her? Thanks!Advice for my best friend about engagement?
I'd encourage her to wait- you can tell her that waiting will mean that she can have a nice, personalized, perfectly-planned wedding. More importantly, maybe you can gently remind her that waiting would mean the that the groom would not feel rushed or resentful.





Also- and there's no need to bring this up- it will give the couple time to make sure that the marriage is meant to be. She's still in school and there's no reason to rush into anything. Who needs the distraction- or the extra pressure of a wedding on a relatively young person/relationship.





In order to help your friend get over her disappointment, maybe you can suggest a couple of do-it-yourself wedding projects that you 3 friends can work on all together. Or maybe have a recent bride tell your friend how long it takes to get prepared for a wedding- she might ultimately decide that some extra time is a blessing.





The bride is definitely lucky to have friends who care this much about her!!Advice for my best friend about engagement?
You don't get married based on when your family is available or the potential that someone may die or be too incapacitated to go - you get married based on what works best for the two as a couple.





If they pass, they will be there in spirit - if they are too incapacitated to go - that is what wedding vidoes are for.
All you can do is be patient and listen to her. No one can make this couple do anything except for themselves.

this works

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