Need advice....want to end engagement?

My girlfriend and I met about 4 1/2 years ago. We moved into our first apartment after three months of dating. As most new couples do, we had our problems (i.e., finances, daily chores, etc.). We are now engaged and are about three weeks away from the wedding (I know I know, bad time to be having doubts).





The issues we had when we first moved in still exist. She's horible with finances and refuses to compromise stating ';she'll work on it'; and never does placing us in financial hot water every month. I get no help with the up-keep of our apartment. She's utterly left herself go physically (not the main reason I am with but I've made a point to keep myself physically fit and maintain my hygiene.





I want to end it but she's mentally unstable and has a horrible temper (she's small but gets physically combative). I know reasoning with her would be impossible. Her father has paid for everything and I have no way of paying him back (he's entited if I end the engagement correct?) Help!Need advice....want to end engagement?
As hard as it may be now to end it, it will be even harder if you wait till after the wedding and have to deal w/ divorce if things don't improve.





I'm sorry you're in this situation but it's better than being married and wanting out but you don't want to hurt spouse and children.





Yes, I think he's entitled to be paid back for whatever he can't get back. I'd look into everything he's paid for first, call the places and ask about refunds for cancelled weddings.





Good luck!Need advice....want to end engagement?
i went threw just about same thing, add cheating to the mix.


felt the same way our folks had already spent a lot of money.


i married her anyway. had a kid, borrowed money for a house, the whole bit. divorce was final 2 days short of 3rd


anniversary. OOOOOMMMMMGGGGG RRRRRUNNN


run like the wind and don't turn back. move out of state


so she can't track you down. run run run run run.


in case i forgot to mention it RUN!!!!!!!
You need to do the right thing and end it. It may not be what the woman wants but if you don't and then get married you will only be very sorry. You ending the engagement you would not have to pay your girlfriends dad back. There is no reason that you would have to.
What would you rather do - end your engagement now, or get a divorce later? You made a bad decision and are screwed no matter what. Don't look for an easy way out - you won't find it. Do what makes sense to you knowing that NONE of it is going to be easy.
Pack your stuff up and then call the police and tell them you want to move but your girlfriend isn't stable.





They'll come and escort you and your stuff out of the apartment.
I'm female, and yeah, she'll be hurt. That being said, run! It is NOT likely she'll change. This is her true personality and character. She is who she is. Take the loss now. Sorry.
better to end it now once your married divorce is expensive
Break up with her, she is a loser, and you find a way to pay him back. He did nothing wrong and you don't punish him because his daughter is a loser. If she goes after you physically, you call the cops. There needs to be a records of her conduct. Then you tell him that she attacks you. Think this through, you marry someone you don't love, you can't stand, in fact, then you have kids, and you get divorced. How do you think that will work, sharing kids. Trust me, I'm going through a divorce with kids, you don't want to do this, if you don't have to. Better to end it 3 weeks prior than 3 weeks after. Do it today!
Wow dude I would so get out and I am a chick. Check and see if you can get any of the money back by cancelling, then tell her how you feel and tell her Dad, if he is an understanding man he will see your point and maybe let you pay him in payments. But I would not go thur with it. I am married and my husband had the same problem with finances and he is great now, I have taught him well. If she has not changed by now she will never change. GOOD LUCK.
Paying for the wedding will be cheaper than divorce, child support and alimony.





You are right to have serious doubts. Your fiancee is a work on progress that she refuses to work on.





I advice you to reconsider the wedding, You will be tied for life with a irresponsible, lazy, bipolar (and now fat) person. Excuse my honesty, but she doesn't seem like a catch to me.





Your heart , yoru mind and sould is telling you NO. Put at stop to this while you can.





I'm sorry. Good luck





PS/ People NEVER change and things will not get better with time
you NEED to end this asap!! 4 1/2 years is long enough to see that nothing will ever change with her. if you marry her, the rest of your life will be dealing with her finance trouble, and having to do all the up-keep in the house and everything. it's only going to get worse from here. you need to break it off right now.


that does suck for her father - but that is not your fault. i'm sure her father can return some of the stuff to get his money back. if you feel bad about it, maybe you would want to talk to her father and kind of explain to him why you are breaking off the engagement and tell him that you feel bad he spent all this money. i'm sure he would appreciate that. but alot of the stuff i'm sure he can get his money back for.