Monday, December 21, 2009

What's your advice? Break engagement?

I have had a completely long distance relationship with this guy for over 9 months. Before that we were friends for two years ( still long distance). Recently, he moved in with me and I find out that not only is he slightly retarded, lacks faith and initiative- but I sincerely do not like him. We became engaged in December, and I do love him, but life is getting unbearable. Do I break up, break the engagement or grit my teeth and bear it? For the record, he doesn't like me much either it seems- he bosses me around and screams at me when I cry. But when I ask him, he says he loves me just not my attitude. What should I do? I'm trying to be as nice as I can.What's your advice? Break engagement?
I am trying to be nice in this-big hug to you. You answered your own question--you have already been more than too nice to him. think of it like Jesus unconditional love-He doesnt just say he loves us but not our attitude-he proved his love on the cross when we were in our worst attitude, its time for a prayer-';Jesus help jme, forgive my sins-even one lie, help me do better, come into my heart and be my friend, amen.





He said he would in Revelation 3:19%26amp;20 ';I love you and knock on your heart door to come in, deliver from sin and be your friend, when you ask me in.';





when u learn the deapest love you will be ready for a true prince who will truely love you not just in words. prayin for you, DavidWhat's your advice? Break engagement?
girl, end it now, why continue to be miserable?
End it...why go on with this when you're both obviously unhappy??? Life's too short to be miserable!!
dont let someone push you around like that, and treat you like crap. yelling at you when you cry, that is just horrible. your wedding day is suppose ot be the best day of your life, atleast one of them... you dont want have to fake a smile, and spend all that money on something that doesnt truely make you happy, and dont you think its gona be easier to do it now, in the engagement period that it will be to get a divorice. and thats what the engagement period is for, to make sure. to BE CERTAIN that he is the person you want ot spend the rest of your life with. dont you really only wana get married ONCE?! you know your not happy, and you can admit to that. so i think you should sit down, and try to think of the easiest way possible to break it to him, and maybe he will feel the same way, cauz you both are getting on each others nevrves, so maybe it wont be as hard as you think it will be.
Sounds like this is easier then you would think. He doesn't seem to think it is working at all either so just be up front and let him have it.
ok how hard is this to figure out?? use you head - if you don't like him kick him to the curb!! it doesn't sound like it will be much of a surprise if he doesn't like you either
He raised the bar too high. dump his *** to the curb.
Are you going to be able to ';grin %26amp; bear it'; for the next 50+ years? I suggest either marriage counseling (even though you are not married yet) or break the engagement. How can you marry somebody that you don't even like?
My god!! I'm surprised that you even have to ask this question.





Break the engagment, get him out of your house and find someone that you like as well as love. Plus make sure you're using fool-proof birth control so you don't get pregnant while he's still in the picture.
Wow. Do you want to be married to this guy if you don't like him?





Cut your losses. End it.
If he's rich marry him. If not, time to move on.
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a


low-self esteem make you blind to warning signs.
Now you know the real him it was a good thing to have him move in with you. You didn't know the way he was until now and now it's up to you if you want to take that chance to fix it. But my advice I wouldn't go on with the engagement since there are problems between the both of you. When people love each other there's love,respect,consideration,kindness, Slow to anger and so on. He is not falling into any of those categories. The good news is that your not married regretting it that would have been the worst thing to experience. About your attitude it comes along with your personality it's part of who you are if he is telling you he doesn't like your attitude well he means you that's who you are and if you don't like his then well you and him should meet some one who will. You don't have nothing in common with him so it's creating allot of problems. Think about what you want, how far do you want this to go, do you think he can change?,do you love him enough to wait until he does? You may want him to move out and put the relationship on hold and see if it's meant to be or not. Let him know that for now you need time and so does he to see if this is something you both want. I know people can get stressed when their preparing for the wedding but not up each others necks. In love there's no mix feelings or doubt you know that you know that you love that person and no matter what I'm marrying him. Do you feel like that? Think about it and don't make a mistake that will take harder to heal.


Good luck.
just end it. or else ull cheat on him if u find someone better
I love it that you pointed out that he's only slightly retarded. Everyone knows that guys are mostly retarded.
Grin %26amp; bear it????? I think not! Get the hell out of that train wreck. Why would you possibly contemplate staying with him? You are both miserable - thank God you found out how incompatible you were before marrying.
You need to get out! tell him to pack his **** and leave!
Seems to me that you two are not compatible. You should call the engagement off and meet other people.
Let me tell you if you go through with this you are going to be the most miserable person who ever worked this earth. let me tell you. do you want to go through life with out having being loved by someone. with out feeling comfort. knowing only abuse weither it be mentally or physically. get rid of him and get on with you life.. '; love means never having to say that you are sorry...'; and right now you are the most sorryiest women i know.. it isn't right for any female to go through. that.. just because someone crys there is no reason to scream at them.. not for nothing but hey last i knew you are human right. well it is in our nature to express our feelings and if you can't cry then your heart and life or love for that matter should not belong to this guy..
BREAK IT UP OMG THATS HORRIBLE EWW THATS RIDICULOUS BREAK UP RIGHT NOW
Don't be a slave to him or yourself. Get out of it for the sake of you both. It will be a horrible marriage. When someone loves you, they don't yell or scream at each other. God did not intend man and woman to hate each other. Don't do him any favors unless you want to be a floor mat for the rest of your life. When you do it you will breathe a sigh of relief. Don't forget to breathe deep.
Break it...once you are married it will be much more difficult for everyone.
wen getting married u make a promise that u'll be there for that person NO MATTER WAT, that u want to spend the rest of ur life with him, and accepting him the way he is, even his bad sides.. if u truely love him, then marry him. do not marry him just to make u happy, u have to make URSELF happy. put urself before others. watever ur choice is, good luck ! (=
Not to be shallow, not to be rude, but break off engagement. Yes we always love someone, you always will BUT YOUR happiness comes FIRST girl. so let him down lightly is all i suggest, you gave it a chance, it seems you still all, but if the sparks not there, let it go, you will find love, i've been divorced 7 mo, and still alone w/ 5 mo old baby. :) good luck

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