Dueling advice on the Engagement Ring. Please clarify?

My sister's boyfriend is getting ready to propose. Just in case, my sister has told me her choice of rings.





Her best friend who I normally agree with has been clashing with me on advice. She says it is rude for her to give her opinion about the purchase of the ring. She should accept any ring he gives her. (wait there is more).





However, no one wears their engagement ring anyway. They put it away once the bridal set is purchased. Once the couple starts shopping for bridal sets a new ring is purchase and the original is put in a box. (So I snarkily said, so you mean when you get to have a choice in the ring you keep that one.)





She finished by telling my sister most women do it this way? She is engaged with married friend and I am the single sister. So help me out here, what is more standard?


Dueling advice on the Engagement Ring. Please clarify?
My husband wanted me to love my ring, so he asked me what I liked in rings. I didn't tell him every little detail of what I wanted, but explained that I prefer princess cut stones, like untraditional looking rings, and do not like solitaires. This gave him enough info that he picked out the perfect ring for me.





I have never heard of putting the engagement ring in a box. What would be the point of buying one?


The way I have always seen it...the wedding ring goes on the same finger, behind the engagement ring.Dueling advice on the Engagement Ring. Please clarify?
The engagement ring is purchased, with the option of it being part of a bridal set. The rest if the set, which would go around the engagement ring part, is kept to the side until the wedding. The engagement ring is then either put on a different finger, or the night or morning before, is placed with the set, so that it can be maneuvered into the proper place in the setting.





Your sister's best friend is just a money grubbing *%26amp;^$%.
Your sister's best friend is crazy! First of all, millions of women give their input on what kind of ring they're going to wear. It is considered rude by some people to tell your fiancee you don't like the ring AFTER it's purchased, but not considered rude by others. I don't think many people would be in your sister's best friend's camp. Why else do so many couples go ';engagement ring shopping'; together?





Second, this idea that a completely new ring is purchased is bizarre. I have tons of married friends and have never heard of that. What a waste of money!





It sounds like your sister's best friend has two problems. First, she's a little weird. Second (and a worse problem), she tries to convince the rest of the world to be exactly like her.





NOT COOL!!!
I don't know what the ';standard'; is, but I still wear my engagement ring with my wedding ring. (Wedding ring on the bottom, engagement ring on the top)





It is okay for him to know what kind of ring she likes. Most men I know have preferred it that way, as they have no idea what to look for. Though I do agree that she should graciously accept what he gives her.
I think that it is perfectly normal to have something in mind and give the groom-to-be pointers. I am a little confused about putting it away though. My fiance purchased my engagement ring and then we found a wedding ring to compliment it. You don't have to go out and buy a whole new engagment ring - that just seems odd and a total waste of money.





Oh well, I say give her man some advice and get her what she wants.
I wear my engagment ring every day together with my wedding band. My husband spent $6500 on it, why would I hide it? My husband and I picked the ring together, as he wanted me to get the ring that I wanted in the style that I prefer.





Your friend doesn't know what she's talking about. Obviuolsy she's ignorant and it's trying to pretend to know. I say, leave the bride alone, it's her engagement and her life, and no one has a say in the matter.





Good luck
It just seems to me like she wants to stick her nose in to things. For 1 thing, you always wear your engagement ring, it's part of your bridal set even after you get married, you choose your wedding band to go with your engagement ring. She's a little nutty and just trying to get under your skin, don't let her. :-)
Usually people either buy a bridal set up front and save the wedding band for the wedding or buy a separate band that matches their engagement ring - they don't just stop wearing the engagement ring. I have never heard of anyone doing this.
I think whether the engagement ring is a joint decision or not, is up to the couple in question. There is no right or wrong way.


By the way, lots of women continue to wear their engagement ring with their wedding band.
Everyone wears their engagement ring. I've never heard of such a thing. A ';bridal set'; is when you buy the engagement ring and wedding at the same time, which he isn't doing. The friend needs to back off. Ignore her.
My fiance asked me to go shopping with him and WE picked the ring together. AND...I plan on wearing my engagement ring with my band...I DO NOT plan on putting it back in the box and never wearing it again...what's the point of that??
I think it's much more special if the man chooses the rings. That's what my husband did, and the rings are just lovely - he obviously knows me well!


And everyone I know wears their engagement ring with their wedding band!
Who says nobody ever wears their engagement ring? The engagement ring is usually part of the bridal set- it either matches the wedding band, or it goes with the wedding band enough to where they can be worn together and it looks good. I've never heard of a woman getting an engagement ring, and then getting two other rings besides, causing her to leave the engagement ring in its box for all eternity. I think you're misinformed.





Secondly, you are right that your sister should have a say in what kind of engagement ring she wants. After all, it is the ring she'll be wearing forever (hopefully)- it should at least reflect her personal style. It doesn't have to be huge or terribly expensive, but it should be a ring she wants to show people. Most guys really like it when a friend or sister of their girlfriend can help them pick the ring out. Tell your friend to quit being such a know-it-all because there is no ';right'; way to do any of this. It all depends on the individual.
I've never heard of such a thing. Some people spend $10,000 to $20,000 for an engagement ring---why on earth would you do that and then just put it back in a box?





My ring was very very pricey and I often wear it alone--without my wedding band. However, I picked it out---my husband very wisely decided to give me the option as an additional gift--smart man!





The best friend is cracked. Everyone wears their engagement ring. You go right ahead and tell the guy what your sis wants in a ring. I have no doubt he'll be grateful for the advice. No one wants to propose and see a disappointed look on the face of their beloved.
I personally have never once heard of anyone doing what the friend is talking about.





In my case, I showed my husband the types of rings I preferred. We didn't shop for rings together. He gave me the most lovely ring. I wear that ring along with my wedding band. I've never even thought of only wearing just the wedding band. I mean the engagement ring cost WAY more than my wedding band. Why on earth would I put it away?





I think it's common for couples to shop for rings together, at least so the guy has a clue what the woman prefers. It's also common for the man to pick out a ring by himself (with advice from her family/friends).





It is not common to retire the engagement ring once the wedding band is given.
I always thought it was common to have one and only one engagement ring. However, if the ring is bought without the bride's knowledge for a surprise proposal, I could believe that some brides ask for a second ring of their choosing. Seems kind of greedy to me...either accept the first ring or have the balls to tell the fiance you want to exchange it for another. Just my opinion.





I had a good friend who got engaged, the boyfriend bought her a ring without asking for her advice. He was in the military and very poor. She decided she need to have her ';dream'; engagement ring. She picked one out and announced he had to buy her this one (thus causing him to go into debt...) and she was ALSO going to keep the old one for sentimental reasons, because ';that was the one he proposed with.';





Maybe I am old-fashioned or not plugged into proposal culture, but this just seems wasteful to me...you should get one ring and one only, unless everyone is super rich or something.
My fiance %26amp; I discussed what I wanted for an engagement ring. I gave him a couple options in the stone (I didn't want a diamond), he made the final decision on which stone and which setting. In my opinion, it was the perfect combination. I knew I would be happy with the ring if he kept to a couple parameters (non-diamond and white gold, but he knew my preference for white gold already) and he also knew I would because of the opinions I did give him about it yet he still got to pick the setting, if there were sidestones or not, and how the main stone was cut.





And you don't buy an engagement ring THEN a bridal set. The engagement ring you get is the ONLY engagement ring you get!! Sometimes the e-ring is part of a set, but the couple later goes back and buys just the wedding band. Your friend is a little loopy on that.





I want to wear my engagement ring all the time!!
There is no ';most common way'; - that is probably the way she did things. I had five friends get married this summer and all of them had some input into their engagement rings, whether they went shopping together beforehand or had girlfriends drop hints to their men.





All of them continue to wear their engagement rings with their wedding bands - they don't put them away. Most married women I know wear both rings together. After all, what's the point in spending several thousand dollars on a ring that you'll only wear for a few months? I would want to wear mine every day, and I think most women do.





The man giving the ring gets to choose the budget, diamond size and quality, etc. But if he's a good partner, he will take into account the woman's preference in terms of style and metal color.





My final verdict: There is no harm in sharing your sister's preference with her boyfriend - he will probably appreciate the advice! Just send him an email or mention to him that you and Sis were talking about jewelry and she just happened to mention that she loved this particular kind. Then he can use the suggestion or not, as he chooses.
if a couple choose to select their own rings together (bridal set which includes the wedding bands and the engagement ring, or the gal waits for a proposal with the ring chosen by the guy, or drops hints to her fella on what kind of ring she likes, all of that is the norm %26amp; acceptable as it is up to the couple how the ring(s) selection goes.





However, most people wear the engagement ring part of the bridal set (woman's band, woman's engagement ring, man's band-all matching) and her fella holds on to the wedding band (hers) until the big day.





So, with her way she gets TWO engagement rings?....wow lucky gal because most women DO NOT DO THAT.....they either wear the engagement ring and seach for a band that will complement it, or wear the engagement ring that comes with a bridal set and save the band for the 'I do's'......





Now if the bridal set is just two bands( his %26amp; hers with the engagement ring a separate purchase made prior), MOST gals will wear it with the engagement ring when going out....around the house many will take the engagement ring off...and even the wedding band to do messy house-chores, or just wear the wedding band.





And I have a news flash for Sister Dear....MOST women DO wear their engagement rings.......I do....whenever I leave the house. Inside the house I switch to a plain stainless steel one that my feelings won;'t get hurt if house %26amp; garden chores bang it up.





So there ya go....it's your sister's CHOICE, in the end, but most gals wear their engagement rings proudly.....I sure as h@ll won;t let mine sit in a box....good luck.
I went shopping with my fiance to pick out my ring. I did tell a couple of close friends a couple months prior in case he wanted to surprise me but we just went shopping together.





I don't know a single woman who doesn't still wear her engagement ring! Actually, the trend I've seen among my friends is that the engagement ring is their wedding ring, they don't buy a separate wedding band. The one ring holds both roles.





Her friend is crazy. If this is a ring you're going to wear for the rest of your life, you want to like it. So if the boyfriend asks for you input, definitely give it!





My only word of advice to you as a possible ring shopper is to buy the entire ring set at once. I've had more than one friend have an incredibly hard time finding a band that matched their engagement ring. Its best to buy it all as a set.





Best of luck!
Your sisters best friend is incorrect. Bridal sets aren't always purchased. An Engagement ring and a wedding band are consistent of a bridal set nowadays. Women I know (I have 4 sisters and many married woman friends) who wear their engagement ring either with the wedding band or on their right hand. A lot of my friends fiance's and husband's bought really expensive engagement rings (between the 20-50 thousand level) and we would NOT expect a bridal set. We only need our wedding bands. Perhaps your sisters best friend is thinking of a promise ring? Either way, there's no way I'd leave my rock at home! I love it and plan to wear it every single day for the rest of my life with my wedding band!
I have seen that some men get advice from sisters, mothers, best friends, etc. when shopping for an engagement ring. There again, some men do it without consulting anyone.





If your sister has shown you the style she likes (or the actual ring), then offer to go with the bf to shop for the ring. When you get to the store and see the one your sister picked out, then tell her bf that she made a comment on a ring like this when you guys were out shopping one day. He will never be the wiser.





Who puts their engagement ring away? I have never heard this. All my family and friends wear theirs along with their wedding bands. Especially now days because you can buy them in sets that fit together perfectly.





Sometimes if the wedding band and engagement ring are too big when on the same finger, a woman will choose to move the engagement ring to the right hand ring finger, but she still wears it.





Simply have your sister ask the women she knows to get a census on what is ';normally'; done and she will soon find out that her best friend is incorrect.